We sell wedding invitations and wedding stationery. A very frequent question from brides concerns enclosure cards.
Brides will tell a consultant - “I want to include a card stating where I am registered.” Or they will say, “We don’t want gifts. We want money. How do we tell our guests?”
At the risk of offending our brides, we try to say firmly but graciously, “A wedding invitation is just that… an invitation for guests to share with the bride, groom and their families, a celebration of marriage. It is NOT a solicitation for gifts.” It is entirely possible that a guest could come to your wedding gift-less. You have invited the person to help you celebrate. If they bring or send a gift - wonderful! If they can’t or don’t, you still welcome them. A gift is their choice, not yours.
You register for gifts at a Registry for the convenience of guests and yourselves. Just because you have done so, does not mean that each guest must abide by the choices you have made. A registry is really your attempt to “help” your guests who feel inclined to provide a gift.
Since the Bridal Registry started in the late 1920’s, guests have been able to find out where the couple registered simply by asking family or attendants. Brides can send a postcard after the invitation with more details or updates on the wedding. On that postcard you can include information about your honeymoon, bridal registry information, etc. Thanks to the Internet, guests may now go on line to check out bridal registries. You can also sign up for one of the many wedding websites available on the Internet that have your bridal registries listed; then send emails directing guests to your website. These are all acceptable ways to let your guests know where they can find your bridal registries.
Proper wedding invitation etiquette is: Do not send enclosure cards that specify your registry requests - and NEVER put your registry requests on the wedding invitation. One other thought: Requesting money on an enclosure card is about as appropriate as requesting money in lieu of flowers at a funeral. IT JUST ISN’T DONE!
Bluestone Weddings - wedding consultant and wedding services
Bluestone Bridal - wedding and bridal accessories, invitations
I completely agree that invitations cannot mention gifts at all.
Instead, create a wedding website (try The Knot), and then on your website registry page, simply list a money gift registry like Rainfall of Envelopes (I’m a founder - we’ve seen hundreds of weddings do this).
[...] Original post: Wedding Stationery - Wedding Invitation Enclosure Cards … [...]